Driver's License Fun

So...six months after my driver's license expired I finally decided it was time to go get a new one.  I couldn't renew online again as I desperately needed an updated photo because seriously... that haircut on that woman in that picture...had to go!!  So after today's scheduled trip to my miracle- worker hairdresser Tara, I ventured to the DMV to get a new license.


Because of the new regulations with Homeland Security there is a whole list of things that must accompany you to the DMV...and just let me forewarn you...these ladies take their job seriously and will turn you away if any document is missing or seems amiss.  I was armed with my expired license (got a severe lecture about that), my passport (another bad hair day picture), a piece of mail with my name and current mailing address (must be less than 2 months old), and an old W-2 form with my social security number (cause those cute little cards we got in middle school have our maiden names on it and don't count...unless I also had with me a marriage license).  That wasn't enough...I pulled my checkbook out of my wallet, my car insurance card, my health insurance card, heck, I even tried to use my VIP gold membership card to Books - A- Million (I think I got that for buying a million books or something...please don't tell my husband). SHE was not impressed.
"You need another piece of mail with your current address." So I went to my car and began the search for something...surely I had an old grocery list scribbled on the back of a power bill. Finally, after a few frustrating minutes (come back another day...no way...remember I had just come from my hair appointment) I found a fairly recent receipt for some maintenance work done on the car...and hooray it was in my name with my complete address. Triumphantly I walked back into the building and handed over more evidence of who I am.  "This was mailed to you?" she asked.  Okay, keep your cool I am thinking to myself , but my hair is falling and I need to reapply lip balm and get this picture taken....TODAY.  So, I smile and explain that no it wasn't mailed to me but clearly I live at this address so please can I get a new license?  Eureka...she sighs loudly and begins punching at her keyboard while asking me if I've ever done a long list of illegal things-no, no, no I state emphatically!  She directs me to take a seat again as my license will be ready in three minutes. 


 The small office, located on the beach, had cleared out so she began a long detailed conversation with a co-worker while I sat and waited.  Two college-age guys walk in and  look around tentatively and then ask no one in particular "Do we need to take a number?" They begin sauntering up to the counter but SHE stops them dead in their tracks. "You here for Spring Break?" she barks (sporting board shorts, SB 2010...Get It Anyway You Can t-shirts, flip flops, very expensive sunglasses and painful looking sunburns...that would be a good guess).  "We uh lost our ids and need new ones."  She is not impressed but begins to list the documents necessary to get a new id.  I don't know why...but I think this is the funniest thing.  I mean I live here and am a tad bit put out that I might have to venture back home to find another piece of mail, but come on, do college students even get mail....on paper?  They look shell shocked as she explains that they can have these documents overnighted and come back tomorrow.  Without commenting they turn and leave and I am left unfufilled.  I really wanted the one kid to get his picture taken cause he was really sunburned but looked like he was still wearing sunglasses.  Ten minutes have passed and she notices that I am still sitting and asks her coworker to get my license.  She looks at it and calls out "Dodd" (there is no one else in the office). I get my new license complete with the star in the top right hand corner (this indicates that I have complied with the new security regulations and in the future can enter government buildings and fly on airplanes).  I turn to walk out with new license in hand (with a very respectable picture I might add)...when, wait a minute; the address is wrong...I don't live on 29th Court!!!  Don't you know...this is my life!