Yesterday was D-Day for me...I had the annual "necessary" follow-up to the annual "necessary" doctor's appointment which included mammogram, blood work, and for the first time (oh the joy of being over 50) a bone density scan. Now while not a fan of being poked by needles and flattened by a machine...I will go on record right here and say that I believe in being proactive about this stuff...(this said, I'm still thinking about that baseline colonoscopy thing). So, I go do it and hopefully these results will be the same as in the past...diagnosis...I am aging but fine.
That is not the story...the story is that when I went to have these three tests done I was told by the cheerful paperwork person (does she have a title...you know who she is...the one who takes all your identification, makes you fill out endless forms, and then wants all your money because of that high deductible that hasn't been met...). Anyway, after all of this she asks me to take a seat and my tech, who will be doing ALL of the tests, will be out in a minute. And then he came...yes I said HE. We went back to get a bone scan and he looked me up and down and said is there any metal in those jeans cause if so they will mess up the scan...of course there is metal in the jeans. "Go in there and undress and put on the gown opening to the back." Returning, I lay down on the bed and he began asking me about my medical history...you know the one I just filled out on the endless forms out front! Then he said "Does your bra have a metal hook?" "No" I said, "it's plastic..." "Okay, cool" he says (I swear he looked to be 22 years old). So, he is playing around with settings on the machine when it crosses my mind that my plastic-hooked bra has an under wire that may be metal....it also crosses my mind that the paperwork lady said the tech would be doing all of my tests..."Wait a minute I say...I need to take off my bra." He looks at me and then I stumble on..."because it has an under wire." So he leaves the room and I undress some more. He does the bone density scan and I lay there waiting for him to leave the room so I can at least partially dress. I have decided that if he can be a professional about this so can I????? But I'm thinking to myself, I'm not a professional anything here, and SERIOUSLY...is this kid going to do my mammogram?
Well, of course not ...they don't do that to women (however the lady tech who did mine did inform me that she did 3 mammograms on men in the last week)! As she manipulated and flattened we had a good laugh about the whole thing. By 8:15 am I had been poked, flattened and scanned...I needed the largest non-fat, no whip Pumpkin Spice Latte that Starbucks sold!
